Reportcardland

I am away on a long business trip to Reportcardland. It is grueling, exhausting, and terribly necessary.

I wish I could get everyone's email addresses and record a verbal report card for each kid, send it as an MP3 file. I could rattle off the letter grades and then just speak from the heart without worrying about standard technical language.

But instead here I am piled up, in paperwork that sucks the moisture out of my hands, and in official verbiage that sucks the brains out of my head and onto the computer screen.

To add relief, I do all sorts of strange things. This time, I have been playing all my old Van Halen CDs. It helps take the edge off. I've also been rolling around on my exercise ball (which is my desk chair) on my stomach with my head in my hands and my feet splayed out behind me.

At one point I was bouncing crazily on the ball to "Hot For Teacher" while madly clicking my computer mouse. I really scared one of my cats doing that, and I had to laugh as she ran under the bed for cover but was still showing one-fifth of her body from the back end, thinking herself to be completely concealed.

I've already participated in every procrastination imaginable, and despite this fact, have completed 20 reports. I only have 9 left to get done over the next 3 days. It's quite possible that I may graduate myself from caffeine to gin, now that the end is in sight.